How to keep yourself engaged in the Exam hall

This paper is dedicated to a small chunk of guys
who have failed in all their attempts to lead as an
example to the other studious students
in this college.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
My sincere thanks to a set of lateral entry guys, guys from the CSE and ECE department who have inspired me to write this paper. I thank them all for standing by me in all my tough times and encouraging me to finish this paper when I was receiving thousands of murder threats from the toppers and the studious students who form the majority of this college.

Now coming to the topic...How to keep oneself engaged in the Exam Hall during the Mid semesters/Model exams.

Our college has made it mandatory for students to sit for the entire duration of the exam and rules are rules... you've gotta obey them.After a lot of research and some personal experience I've come up with a set of fool proof methods to keep yourself engaged in the exam hall when you've come totally unprepared.

When you receive the answer script,quietly count all the pages and check whether 44 pages are there..well you would end up with only 32 pages..Quickly look at the 19th instruction given to the candidates on the instruction page... what is it written...? can't you believe your own eyes..?
The 19th instruction is that students should check whether answer book contains 44 pages..The 19th instruction is one of the10 highlighted instructions on this page. Think over this paradox for sometime...you'll soon find the answer.. The 19th instruction is meant for the Anna University answer book... Whuf!!.. you were about to ask the hall suptd. for those missing pages..didn't you..?

There are still some more interesting things you'll find on the instructions page.... look carefully at the very first instruction.. what does it say....? It asks you you to write your Registration number..the same as given below... But the registration number given below is 64380912751... It's not yours..!!!.. look again at the instruction and you'll realize what has been asked by seeing the two key words "type" and "example".
Coming to the very next instruction..the instruction number 2. It asks you to get the answer book replaced if 1.stitch thread is missing,2.it is not stapled,3.The page numbers are not in order,4.The serial number of the answer book is not printed at the top of the title page.
Hmmmm... you can replace your answer script for all of the above reasons except the 2nd one.
There is no stitch thread in our model exam answer scripts. The question of.. page numbers not in order does not arise at all as there are no page numbers printed on our answer scripts.
And...the serial number... just search for it on the title page..you'll be searching all day.
By now...you'd have had an interesting session with the instruction page

Now.. moving on to the title page... It's time to fill the title page. Start with your registration number.. Here you ought to remember that you need to be very careful in writing your regn number on the dotted lines... even a slight deviation.. can cause rejection of your paper for evaluation?.. well,you'd be only pleased if it happens.. but actually it spoils the beauty of it.. doesn't it...? Now take the scale and "draw" your regn num on the dotted lines. After this..we move on to other sections.Here..we can show our artistic works.. Adapt different styles of writing to fill each section..Now disturb your neighbour(don't care whether he's your junior/senior)..Ask him the date,time and also ask him whether it is AN/FN... Give him a wry smile and move on with your business.

After filling in the title page.. wait patiently for the Hall supdt. to sign on your paper.Do not make any attempt at looking into the question paper in the mean time.. After you've got the Hall supdt.'s ink on your paper... say a prayer aloud and look at the questions.. Read the question paper for two times...If it's Greek and Latin to you.. just say adios and go to sleep.. If by chance a word or two appears familiar.. it's time for some superlative creative writing.. Borrow a black pen from your neighbour and write the question in block letters. Now..start developing on the question itself... start your answer by addressing and analysing the question. Make in sentences from the words and phrases in the question. Repeat this procedure with the other questions as well.

Some hall supdts do not allow students to sleep.. At this juncture...to pass 3 hours is a real challenge with people all around you busy writing.And it gets even worse when your neighbour is of the same trait as of you... you both have to look at each other and pass the entire 3 hours. If your neighbour is busy writing.. then it's a kinda entertainment for you..especially if he/she is a fresher... You should look at these people taking the exam so seriously...The things they do... the way they use different colours of pen,sketch pens and some even use glittering pens and whiteners..the way they panic at a difficult question... the sorta gimmicks they do when they find a easy question... and how hurriedly they fill the pages...it's a real entertainment.Now start staring hard at your neighbour's paper and make strange gestures...this would annoy him/her like anything...By this way you can pass time with ease.

Having companions in the exam hall who are of the same trait as of you is an added advantage.You people can make pre-Exam agreement by which you people would turn back and stare at each other and confirm that each of you are not attempting to write and are behaving strictly in accordance with the pre-exam agreement.

During the last few minutes of the examination.... please don't forget that you're writing the "model exam" and not the university exam...coz some students go on putting all the question numbers on the answer script expecting them to be out of portion questions...This act must be avoided. Else the teachers would have a nice laugh in the staff room.

After finishing the writing part... start counting the unwritten pages and this would absorb some time..Now borrow the calculator from your neighbour and subtract the total number of unwritten pages from 32....Aaah..alas you've given some work to the calculator.Now fill the 'number of pages used' column.

If you still have some time left... try this damn interesting play. Do you remember the bar codes on of your ID card.. Well take your ID card and start looking at the bar codes.Imagine the bar code to be white strips in the black background and start counting the number of white lines..38?40?..count again and each time you'll find a new count..Now take the calculator again and find the mean. Try this with the back lines in the white backdrop....

When the Hall supdt. knocks on your bench..ask him to wait till the mean calculation is over and if you're finished with it... hand over the paper.

CONCLUSION:
All the methods prescribed in this paper are tried and tested methods and if you have any difficulty in implementing them..please let me know.


Hari.